


He Knew (Wolfstar angst)

by Slytherin_Sweetheart



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Before Azkaban, Heavy Angst, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), One Shot, POV Sirius Black, Sad Sirius Black, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 20:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19069690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherin_Sweetheart/pseuds/Slytherin_Sweetheart
Summary: Sirius knew he wouldn’t be getting a trial. He knew that Peter had been the one to betray James and Lily. He knew that his godson would grow up alone in a world where a promise of lifelong love had been broken. He knew he would die a criminal in the eyes of the man he loved. He knew Remus would be just as lonely. He knew and it killed him.





	He Knew (Wolfstar angst)

Sirius knew he wouldn’t be getting a trial, he was at the Ministry and he probably had about an hour or two left to try and escape, to try and get to Remus before Peter did, get to Harry before Peter could ever get near him. He was to be taken to Azkaban, where he would die for a crime he hadn’t committed.

When Sirius felt the familiar wolf approaching him, he knew. It made his heart ache that Remus now thought that Sirius had been the one to sell out Lily and James. The wolf was wounded, its aura touched Sirius’ as he played back every moment he and Remus had spend together, every touch, kiss, whisper. “This man...” thought Sirius “I love him.” But the memories were tainted with hurt and betrayal, and Sirius couldn’t stand the thought. Remus now hated him. Remus was no longer his. The message was clear: “ I will never forgive you.” A sob escaped from Sirius’ throat at the thought of Remus. And then he thought of Lily and her beautiful baby, and his brother James. He thought of Harry having to grow up alone in a world where a promise of lifelong love had been broken. 

“Wait, take care of Harry... wait! ” Sirius pleaded the fleeing wolf. “It wasn’t me.... IT WASN’T ME!” He screamed at his now empty room. He screamed and cried for the boy who lived, the baby who should have grown into the most loving family, but was now alone. Sirius knew that Lily and James were in danger, but losing them shattered him to pieces. He would never see James holding Lily as if she were the most delicate thing in the world, or Lily punching James as if he weren’t a fragile twig. “A world without James and Lily,” thought Sirius, “is not a world I want to live in... I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I loved you Lily, and brother, you made me a better man. James, you taught me unconditional love and I am forever grateful.” 

Sirius knew that Peter had betrayed them, and his heart ached for his best friend. Their chats about broads, Peter kicking his ass at chess, their laughter echoing in the common room or down at the kitchens. Peter’s smile burned in the back of his mind as he asked himself: “what could I have done differently?” And he hated that Remus was now asking himself the same about him. 

His Remus.

Sirius couldn’t bear the thought that now Remus had to be alone. He would have to transform on his own, with no one to stop him from hurting himself. Because he would blame himself, and he would hurt himself thinking he deserved it. But Remus hadn’t done anything wrong. Sirius wished that Remus would move on. He now regretted all the time they had wasted by mistrusting each other rather than share their burdens. He regretted the months in which they avoided each other, because not talking was so much better than feeling that the other was lying. Sirius thought about their first kiss, about their ridiculous choreography at James and Lily’s wedding, of their sacred mornings. He reveled in his precious memories. But he knew they both had a lifetime ahead to regret and to hurt, they would both be alone, carrying the betrayal of a beloved friend, carrying the death of the kindest and most loving man and woman. Sirius knew that he’d be behind bars for the rest of his life, and that Remus would be just as lonely.


End file.
